Never Alone
by Tasha M.B
Summary: Heero's running away from something ... can Duo find him and help him out before it's too late? I know, I know, I'm not the best at summaries. I tried ... really I did.


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Never Alone

Rating: Um ... I don't think I did anything bad in here ... nope. 

Warning: Angst. o.O I know ....

Disclaimer: Aww come on. Do I HAVE to? Tch ... fine. I'm not gonna be happy about it though. I don't own Gundam Wing and if I did, I wouldn't be typing it on this slow butt comp that hates me. *glares at comp* Evil thing. Nooo! Don't shut down!

Dedication: This is for my good buddy Laura who loves angst and wanted me to give it a try. I'm the fluffy type so this was a change for me and I almost died at the end of writing this. ^^ Can't wait to start my next fluff piece. But ... this is dedicated to you ... yeah YOU! You know who I'm talkin' about ... hehe. Now you have to write a fluff piece! Hahahaha ... er ... yeah. I think I'm scarin' people away. Not a good thing. On with the story!

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Cold wind blew across my face as I ran down the deserted street. I had no clue as to where my feet were taking me. It was early morning, sometime around three and everyone was asleep ... except me. I never had peaceful sleeps. Always having nightmares and then waking up panting and sweating. I am always plagued with nightmares from the past, people I have killed, memories from the war and so on. One would think that I would get used to it all after putting up with it for so many years but ... I haven't. I just can't let go...

I rounded the corner and proceeded on my way to wherever. The cold was actually getting to me now and I was thankful that I had decided to put my light jacket on before I left our house. In the peace times after the war with Mariemaia, Duo offered me to stay at his place until I found a place of my own. I still haven't moved out. Not only because I still had not found a suitable place of my own but that the braided boy had grew on me and I started developing feelings for him. I wanted to confess my feelings for him for a long time but I knew that he wouldn't accept me. A guy that likes another guy ... it isn't right. So, I kept to myself. Kept in all the memories of war and the pain of him being so close to me yet so far away. 

Often times I wonder if I ever have woken him up during my nightmares. I'm sure I make a scene because when I wake up, the bed is in shambles. But ... I don't think I have and if I do, then he doesn't care all that much. He hasn't come to talk to me about it or anything and I need to talk. That may sound weird coming from the Perfect Soldiers mouth but it's true. I need to talk but I'm afraid that he will laugh at me or he'll not care about it. I have started to give up. Day by day I have and today ... I can't take it anymore. I want all my pain to go away ... and I want to have a peaceful sleep at last. 

As I rounded another corner, I finally recognized my surroundings. Earlier I was just running blindly around, not knowing where I was headed. I was at the bridge that I often came to when I couldn't sleep or when I needed to think. I slowed down to a walk and made my way across the street. 

I sat on the railing, looking down to the rushing river, wanting the river to wash away my pain. It was a quiet morning. No one awake yet to begin their daily schedules all over again. 

A truck passed by, backfiring that made me think of the war. The sound of a mobile suit exploding and the scream accompanied with it. I close my eyes, not wanting to remember anymore. My hands hold tight to the railing, knuckles going white. Why do I always have to remember? I just want it to go away ... all the memories to leave me.

After I calm down, I start to listen for footsteps or any sign of life. I don't know what I expected. Him to come along and save me? To drag me off home and to hold me tight and never let go? I will always be alone. I have always been alone so why is it bothering me know? Or has it always bothered me? Questions keep coming to me but I don't know any of the answers ... I will never know.

My vision starts to get blurry and I feel something warm but cold run down my face. I bring up my hand and brush whatever it was away. That's when I saw that my fingers were wet. Wet? How could my fingers be wet ... Then it hit me. I was crying. The Perfect Soldier was crying. I let them freely fall, watching them fall into the dark river. I don't remember the last time that I had cried. It was so long ago. 

I was beginning to feel very lonely. I looked around but there was no one in sight. A few cars passed by though but no sign of any life. I didn't want to be alone ... never really liked it. No matter how much anyone thinks that, I don't. I never had many interactions with people and the contact that I did have was not to my liking. Duo always touched me and he did it gently with care. I always thought that he would pounce on me and hug me to death or even kiss me but he never did. It was a stupid thought and now I know. If he cared for me, he would come for me and take me home with him. But ... I knew that he wasn't ... he didn't care about me at all. I am the Perfect Soldier and I am incapable to feel love ... whatever.

I looked up to the sky, now lit with the colors of dawn. I would wait for the sunrise and then ... my pain will end. 

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Duo's POV:

It wasn't weird waking up and not finding Heero in the house anywhere. He always disappeared to somewhere. Where to, I dunno. I think he just wanted his privacy and I gave it to him. But ... I couldn't help but think that it was a cry for help. Heero wasn't one to say that he needed help with something but I assumed that if it was so bad then he could talk to me. 

Usually he leaves notes saying that he was out and about and that he would be home soon. This time though, he didn't leave a note or anything. He just ... left. I felt a little hurt because he did this. I was afraid that I wasn't going to see him again and that he was gone for real this time ... never coming back. 

I began to feel like something bad was gonna happen and I decided to look for him. I didn't want Heero to leave me ... he was all I had. I grabbed my coat and headed out into the chilly night and that's where I am now. 

I looked everywhere for my comrade and tried thinking of places where he would go but to no avail. 

When I was walking around, I began to think about his mood this past week. He was extra quiet when he usually would at least reply to me with one of his "hn's" or something like that. He also wasn't getting much sleep. He would always have nightmares but he had many of them this past week. Why hadn't I done anything about it? Why didn't I ever speak up and ask him about them? What was the harm in asking? I always assumed that they weren't bothering him all that much. I assume too much, don't I? I do...

I care about him a lot. I hope that he knows this. I always thought about hugging him more or kissing him but I never did. Now I wish I had because I have a feeling like I will never get the chance. Don't take life to serious, you just end up dying in the end anyways. That's what I say. The truth is that I was scared of rejection from my comrade. Would he want to get in a relationship? And with a guy? I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had ... but what if? 

I can read Heero Yuy like a book. I know all his moods and how he acts towards certain things. The only thing that I don't know about him is his past. I know that he didn't have the greatest of childhoods but I don't know what he had to go through. In order to truly understand him, I think you would have to know more about his past and where he's coming from. If I find him, we're gonna have that talk, to get to know one another better. We should have had this conversation a while ago.

By now, my feet are just taking me aimlessly around. That's when I come along a guy sitting on the bridge. I figured that I would ask him if he had seen a boy come by ... no harm in that. It wasn't until I neared on the man that I realized that it was Heero. He was sitting on the side of the railing, looking up at the sky. The sun was about to rise ... he always liked the sunrises on Earth. 

As I approached him, I saw a glistening on his cheeks. Heero Yuy was crying. I couldn't believe it and I just stopped to gaze at him. His chocolate hair tousled in the light breeze. His cheeks were flushed because of the cold and he was shaking ... barely though. 

Deciding to not waste anymore time, I began to approach him again. This time though, I didn't go unnoticed. His head snapped to look at me. When he processed who I was, his eyes grew wide, mouth slightly parted. 

"Wh-what are you doing here?" He asked, voice trembling.

"I came to look for you Hee-chan. For a minute there I though I would never find you again." He just stared at me. "Well, what are you doing here I might ask?"

"I ... I ... "

"Heero?" I asked with concern. 

"I can't take it anymore Duo. I just ... can't. I want the pain to go away. I want all the memories to go away. I can't ... " His voice became a low whisper and I had to lean closer to hear him. "I can't do it alone. I don't want to be alone anymore." 

"What pain are you talking about Heero? I want to help you but I need to know what you're talking about."

His eyes went back up to the sky and he began to speak. "The dreams will never go away Duo. I'm always plagued with them. All the memories of my childhood come back to me and I hate it. I am a horrible person Duo. I ... I have killed so many people ... innocent people. I never wanted to fight but I was made to. I don't deserve to live."

Wow. So that's why he left. He was planning to kill himself but I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"Heero. Out of everybody, you're the one that deserves to live. To have a chance to live a life full of peace and happiness. Killing yourself won't help you. It won't do anything but hurt the people around you. It will hurt the people that care for you Heero. It will hurt me ..."

Wide eyes looked down at me. "You ... you care for me?"

"Of course I do Heero."

He laughed uncertainly. "What makes you think I believe you? No one has ever cared for me before. What makes you any different?"

What? Did I expect this to be easy? Like he was going to accept me with open arms and everything will be forgotten? No ... this will take time ... and patience.

"What makes me different is that I KNOW you Heero. I know when you're mad, when you're nervous. I know when you don't want to talk and when you're in a good mood. I can understand you better than everyone. I'm the ONLY one who ever wanted to get to know you Heero. The only one ..."

He sighed. "Can you take away my pain? Take away my memories and ... and my loneliness? Can you ... can you help me?"

I grinned. "I can't take away your memories Heero but I will help you. I can help take away your pain but you will have to meet me half way. I can help you with your loneliness. You will never be lonely again Heero. I am always here for you and I will always be here. Trust me."

Fresh tears streamed down his face and I went to him. I grabbed his hand and helped him down. The moment his feet touched the ground, he leaped toward me and threw his arms around me. After the shock, I did the same, rubbing my hands in his hair. 

"I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't ... I don't ... alone ... no more ... " He chanted.

"Yes Heero. You will never be alone anymore. Never." 

After a moment, he let go, and looked up at me. I dried his face with my sleeves and grinned at him. What he did next surprised me. He inched closer and closer to me and ... kissed me. His lips tasted so sweet ... just as I imagined they would be. It was a quick kiss and he blushed as he drew away from it. 

He turned away and smiled. I followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at. The sun had just come up. Heero loved the sunrise. 

All I could do was grin but managed to say something. "Come on Heero. Let's go home shall we?"

"Yes. Let's go home."

He laid his head on my shoulder as I put my arm around him. We walked all the way home like that. We have a lot of things to talk about but we can save that for later. It's about time that someone had a good night sleep ... finally.

~~~~End

PS. Reviews are much appreciated. I would love to know what you guys think! And if you flame me ... I'll write something just for you. ^__^ Now ... go click the button ... go on. ^^


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